The Damascus Diaries

Just enjoying my last hour or two at my mum's looking at my 2 very large bags which surmount to my life. Quite amazing isn't it, that 31 years means that. I'm feeling rather anxious and nervous. The most obvious reason a new life, a new country and a better job will all be underway this time tomorrow. I'm stepping into the great unknown once again. Also finances are looking very very shakey right now. I have well and truly overspent but I guess it's not often that I'm here and I did have to stock up and so on....
The fact that Britain is now officially a main terrorist target is also giving me the fear and today I'm flying by plane....I'm rationalising it all by thinking that there's probably no safer time to fly and why would a plane flying to a Moslem country be hijacked? Anyway, it's all in the hands of fate, god or allah.....
My meeting with a good friend/sort of ex was affected by a suspected bomb on the train going towards Manchester. So you can see my reasons for paranoia now. The whole of Piccadilly was evacuated and as I'm mobile free, I probably spent the best part of 2 quid phoning James from various phone boxes to see what he was doing. He stoically enough found a bus and when i was searching for him around the bus stop, by coincidence I saw him! Thankfully, our little tet a tet showed that nothing has changed. We indeed have a lovely afternoon wandering around with me showing him my favourite parts of Manchester. I studied and then lived there for 5 years. He's recently moved to Macclesfield (just outside Manchester) to start a new job. James made an interesting observation I've never really noticed before that Manchester is made of various areas but they don't blend in and it jumps at you with no introduction. He was quite right. He got to see the alternative part, China Town, the Gay Village, the student area (well one of them..) and the Curry Mile. All parts of town with really happy memories for me and
it was really nice to share them with someone who appreciated it. I hate talking about the weather, but Manchester was lovely and sunny and it almost has a continental feeling to it. In fact, I love cities on a sunny and hot day. Everyone looks smiley and relaxed.
Our afternoon and evening was curtailed by last buses/trains home. At least for James, it seemed that things were working again and hopefully he made it back OK.
A few last minute purchases were made this morning including a jar of marmite. What a sad brit I am......

10 days in England and it's driving me mad.....as much as I love my life outside England I have the odd twinge that it would be wonderful to do things on my own. Despite making a life and career abroad, I'm by no means fluent in any language due to lack of time and a sense that I'm linguistically retarded. I was only saying this to my best friend Blake for years when I stayed at his very 30something North London pad last week that being unable to go to a doctors alone or sending a parcel offended my self-reliant demeanour so my main purpose for being back in Britain was that prior to my new position at the British Council things would be much easier to sort out (and on a shallow note, the shopping's better too...). How naive and misguided was I....
Issue number one...the bank account. Really, I could write for pages and pages and pages the fun I had trying to open up a bank account in the UK which will be primarily used for paying in money. No visa card, loans, overdraft required. I suspected it may be a challenge.In retrospect, my credit rating was the very least of my problems.
First the good news. I phoned NaziWest where I have a debt management account (yes it does get better) to discuss my options about opening an account. I mean, is it better the devil you know.....? Anyway, my mathematical ability is at best, spurious and for once it was to my advantage. I had overpaid a loan and those b**tards owed me nearly £300! And the bird in the call centre who clearly is a disgruntled but nonetheless pleasant university graduate said that I could go there, be rich of sorts...and they would let me open a bank account! Oh joy! I nearly berated myself for called them NaziWest or other variations on such a theme.
The hideousness of the situation....I got to NatWest only to be told off by a chavette with an orange face for not having a bank account in Russia, I mean for f**ks sake, it seems obvious now that in her NVQ in banking and finance they clearly don't cover the global banking system and some countries are economically and financially unstable and if I had a a bank account, then I could get a reference from a bank manager....of course I did ask her did anyone in NatWest, Rawtenstall speak and read Russian fluently as that's what they would have to deal with. And living and may I add working abroad does not count as a 2 week package in Ayanappa. Bint. I was disgusted with her attitude and some clear judgements about my lifestyle and I was clearly close to tears....There are many ways to telling someone you can't do something and hers was distinctly wrong. After her giving me the 3rd degree, she called customers service to give me my sum, but again it wasn't service with a smile. She will be reprimanded for this, but with a letter sent by diplomatic post...from Syria where she refered to as "wherever you're going..". Looks like Ayanappa's off for you my dear if you carry on with this level of service.
I have since traipsed round Barclays and Midlands...they are ever so mumsy there, but at least they said "well, it's because you might be money launderer or a terrorist that we have to ask for a council tax bill from the last 12 months.." (difficult when you haven't lived in the UK for 7 years..) with a reassuring smile on their face.....The bloke at CitiBank actually understood why I didn't open up a bank account in Russia....he probably has smelt the interiors of a university.
The awful bombings in London has halted the arrival of my visa. I feel guilty for being so selfish about it, but I'm beginning to understand why I live abroad. In a perverse way, it's less hassley. I always choose countries with less developed systems as there's always a way to get round it or people who know how to get round it. England feels so limiting. Also, I just want to get back in that classroom and do what I do best.
On a cheerier note, lots of great shopping but slightly scary experience in Manchester Arndale. I was browsing around Top Shop of all places when the announcement said "shop workers code 111". I've recently read a book by Chuck Palahniuk "Choke" which contained a wonderfully dark bit about codes used in hospitals so I asked the bird about code 111 and what is going on. They had to search the shop so I scarpered to Oldham Street very quickly. I've been close to bombs, Manchester included, a few too many times for conmfort and on a superficial note the prices and the clothes sucked.....
Now at my mum's (please visa arrive tomorrow!!!) drinking wine and have just enjoyed a very congennial evening with 2 ex-nuns, one of the ex-nuns is now married so her husband was there too, a deacon and my mum in a Chinese restuarant. Very good food and also we all had quite a good laugh. My mum said I was on my best behaviour. The deacon's a bit of an oddball. He spent 8 years in Iceland coverting people to Catholicism. A rather odd choice of destination considering there's probaly 1,000,000 people there and they're happy in their Lutherian world. I've also heard that it has the highest population of atheists which kind of begs the question.....I daren't tell him that I'm a lapsed Catholic.
So, Oh to be in England now that Summer's here and as it's getting warmer it is here......
Hopefully the next installment will be from Syria and at last I will be on the road to Damascus.

Just to introduce myself. I'm called Liz, I'm 31 and I'm an EFL teacher. Yes, from that much maligned career where people think it's living somewhere hot, exotic, culturally inspiring in exchange for chatting to some locals in English who see you as next to Jesus. I'm not going to a whingey teacher but rest assured it isn't. What I can't deny is that I do love my ob and the opportunities it has given me, perhaps much more so than Britain though apart from working in call centre hell and Manchester City Council which brought me to the brink of clinical depression, I've never really worked in England so how do I know......
I have lived and travelled in lots of different places. The last one being Moscow, my home for three years. I always travel or move to places on my own. I'm not by any means a loner neither do I do this as some feminist statement. I like to be in control of my time and schedule and I've got into some pretty twisted situations which have been of my making, nobody elses.....Incidentally, the title of this chapter is my invebntion of a new acronym. Expect to see it in the Guardian soon....
I'm single, happy and don't really make a big deal of it. So don't expect any Bridget Jonesesque whining. I can't stand it or her and if she was real then she would be my nemisis or any Carrie Bradshaw's shallow philosophising which marr the end of most "Sex and the City" episodes. It would be much more fun if it was Samantha.......
This weblog begins in England, in fact my home town where nothing ever happens. I am in between jobs waiting to start a new life in Syria after a debauched, hedonistic and very emotional departure from 3 years in Moscow. From the horribly delayed BA flight in Domodevo airport to the late visa arrival for Syria the whole stay of 10 days has been a catalogue of disasters but I do have a slight penchant for attracting chaos.
It even went mad in my home town, Rawtenstall where a man on the council estate lost his mind, shot a police officer and revealed his abundant supply of guns and firearms. The debate now is was Crusty Man mad or bad....the best bit is that it all went off near where my brother lives with his girlfriend and three kids and they had ring side seats....But that's another story....
The reasoning behind this weblog is that I was getting into the habit of sending group emails whenever I went somewhere new. I don't wish to repeat this habit. Group emails rile everyone, myselt included so if you want to read about my life then it's your choice rather than having it forced on you on your gmail account.
As I said, it won't be the portrayal of the strengths of SWT, neither is it written to impress anyone. Just to let everyone know what's going on and even get some outsiders if they're interested....